Tamar’s Story

The first out-of-place ornament Matthew includes in Jesus’ family tree is Tamar, the mother of Perez (Matthew 1:3). If you’ve never heard of Tamar before, you’re not alone. Tucked away in Genesis 38, rudely interrupting the Joseph saga, is the tragic tale of Tamar. Not for the faint of heart, her story makes one squirm uncomfortably. As you will learn, Tamar’s story, one of the most scandalous in the Bible, is hard to sanitize, but well worth the struggle to study.

The Weight of Guilt

The sad saga starts with Judah, Joseph’s older brother. In Genesis 37, Judah had just “rescued” Joseph from certain death by selling him into slavery, but he had failed to protect him from his brothers’ jealousy.

Afterward, Judah separates himself from his father and brothers. He makes a new start among the Canaanites, where he marries and has three sons—the eldest he named Er. Instead of marrying him to an Israelite wife as he should have, Judah arranges for Er to have a Canaanite wife, Tamar. From there, the plot plummets downhill.

The details of this brief marriage are scarce, but the Bible says that God killed Er because he was wicked. We don’t know more than that.

According to custom, the next oldest brother was obligated to marry and conceive a child with the widow. This would carry on Er’s name and extend his family tree. So Judah instructs Er’s brother, Onan, to do so. Well, Onan, too, is wicked; he refuses to give Tamar and his dead brother a child. The details of Onan’s mistreatment of Tamar are degrading and disgusting. God thinks so too. He kills Onan.

Are you uncomfortable yet?

I warned you this story would make you squirm, and it’s just getting started.

With two sons dead, Judah is left responsible for a twice-widowed Canaanite daughter-in-law. Judah should provide for Tamar and his son’s line. But, he’s thinking, “I need to look out for my family and my one remaining son. Tamar is currently 0 for 2. I’m not sure I want to try for round 3.”

So Judah assures her that she may marry the youngest son, Shelah, when he is grown. Judah sends Tamar back to her father’s house, where for years, she lives as a widow. It eventually becomes clear that Judah has no intention of fulfilling his promise.

It Doesn't Get Better Yet

Here’s where Tamar’s tragic tale earns its M-rating. Judah’s wife has recently died, and Tamar hears that he will soon be passing by to check on his sheep. Realizing that Judah has no intention of caring for her by wedding her to Shelah, Tamar births a plan to get what she deems she deserves. First, Tamar disguises herself as a shrine prostitute. She then positions herself in the right place at the right time to carry out her provocative plan.

NOTE: The Hebrew word used here for “prostitute” and what she does are rather specific. All attempts to downplay her misdeeds and those of Judah that follow are dead ends.

When Judah comes by, he says he wants to sleep with her but doesn’t have money. So, he promises to return with a young lamb. Tamar asks for some security to hold onto, and Judah gives her the equivalent of his passport, driver’s license, and credit card—his seal, the cord attached to it, as well as his staff.

They sleep together, Judah goes on his way, and Tamar returns to her widow's ways and clothes. Breaking yet another promise, Judah doesn’t return himself. It’s too embarrassing. Instead, he sends a friend to exchange the lamb for his identification. But the prostitute can’t be found. And rather than humiliating himself by asking around further about a prostitute with his belongings, Judah lets it go.

But These Things Have a Way of Following Us.

Three months pass; then the scandal intensifies again. Judah learns that Tamar is guilty of prostitution and is PREGNANT. The self-righteous patriarch pretentiously declares that she should be dragged out and burned to death. But as Tamar is brought out for burning, she proclaims, “I am pregnant by the man who owns these. See if you recognize whose seal and cord and staff these are” (Genesis 38:25).

You can see it, can’t you? Judah’s face goes flush. A team of Hollywood writers couldn’t craft it any better. The hypocrite owns his sin, repents, and declares that this Canaanite woman, who dressed up as a prostitute and slept with her father-in-law, is “more righteous than I, since I would not give her my son, Shelah” (Genesis 38:26).

A few months later, Tamar bears for Judah’s line, not one but two heirs, Zerah and Perez, who would be the great, great, great….grandfather of Jesus, the Messiah.